The little engine that couldn't.

If you remember back so many days ago when Val and I were at Thai Boxing with the Frenchies and Alyne, as we parted ways on the street with much European cheek kissing, we realized that we were going to be on the same train back to Bangkok as Fred and Sophie. We were about to compare tickets to see where everyone was sitting when Fred said that fate had brought us together so many times that he was sure we would see each other on the train too. So when we arrived, Val and I found our seats and settled ourselves when all of a sudden the Frenchies arrived. They were in the seats right next to ours. Fate indeed!



Fred and Sophie - right next to us.

Plus, miracle of miracle, there was no one in our upper bunks so we all had double seats to lounge about in. All was going swimmingly for the first 45 minutes until the train stopped. Nothing too unusual until about an hour had passed before a buzz from the tourists started. "What is going on?" Rumour had it that the engine did not have 'enough energy' to make it up the hill. Val had acquired an admirer by this time who was hovering around. He would ask every time someone with a walkie talkie would rush by but his English skills were limited so he was having a hard time explaining to us what was what. After another hour it was declared (can one say declared when it is said through the grapevine) that the train was going back to the last station for a new engine or repairs. So back we went. I guess they fixed it because after a four hour delay we started back up and went toward Bangkok. It actually worked out well for me and Val. We had wanted to take a later train but that one didn't have sleepers so the one we took was supposed to arrive at 6am. We were going to have to kill 4 hours before we could get a room but as it happened we arrived in Bangkok at 11 which is just in time for check out at noon.



Another hazy sunrise/set from the train window.

This time we decided to go Lux and get a room in the hotel across from our last place. We had seen that they had a pool. Plus we have lots of baht left and are feeling rich after our $4 rooms in Chang Mai. So we checked into the Khoasan Palace. Air, TV, second floor, our own bathroom for $25 bucks plus the pool that we don't seem to be using. My favourite part is the blankets - they are huge towels!

Last night we were pretty exhausted but we went shopping for awhile, again, so much to buy and so many bahts left to spend - not my usual state. I bought a purse (don't say it, lea) and more pendants, a couple of t-shirts etc etc. Val found some necklaces she really liked, fisherman pants and a t-shirt, and some cheap bead necklaces. good fun. then we met the Frenchies for dinner - next trip - France!



Elephant statue in a very busy traffic circle

Today, we went to the market outside the Grand Palace, the amulet market. Appropriately named since they sell these Buddha amulets at practically every stall. it is quite a thing here. There were magazines (in Thai) that seemed to be about collecting them. There were sellers and monks etc with jewellers eyes (magnifiers) checking them out. I of course, just bought the cheap ones that appealed. I bought a few from one guy who was so happy when I asked to take his picture that he just kept handing me more, I would try to give him more money and he would put more in the bag. I think I bought four and ended up with about 10. Those ones were loose, not in one of the pendant cases (I will have to show you).



My generous amulet salesman.



Meat balls (who knows what kind of meat?) on sticks



Flowers for the household mini-temple.

Oh, I forgot, Jennifer will love this if she is reading this blog. When we crossed the street (frogger style, as always) these ladies approached us and handed us baggies of corn. We didn't really know why until one of them opened some of the bags and put them in our hands. Oh My God - the pigeons when ballistic! they were all over us, on our hands and arms, faces, in our hair. Yikes, they have sharp little claws, there must have been hundreds of them and the ladies just kept pouring more corn into our hands. I couldn't get away fast enough. And for this horror, they demanded money! No likely. They weren't happy but we made out it with our eyes still in our heads and our baht safely tucked away to be spent on non-Hitchcockian events.



Val right after the pigeon attack, trying to get rid of the last bag of corn.



The troops massing for another attack - just bring out the corn!



The one noteworthy pigeon in the bunch. A spotted dove.

It is so hot here, I can't describe it. I must be 40 degrees. I thought I was going to pass out. Fortunately, we managed to get into a 7-11 before I completely turned to a messy paste (dust and sweat). There at 7-11s everywhere here and they just blast the air conditioning (thank god). A couple of beverages and a bite of food and we headed back to the hotel to recuperate. Now we have our last baht to spend and our very stuffed bags to pack before we head to the airport tomorrow for our 8am flight.

A couple of random images from our last day in Bangkok



A dog head sticking out of a bridge.  Why? Who knows.



A typical image of the king, they like his image from 40 years ago, you rarely see a current 'old' picture of him.

We will be back on Saturday at around noon. I am going to try to stay awake until at least 7pm - either wish me luck or give me a call so keep me alert. See you all soon. Joanne

A very full two days

Once we were beaten stupid(er) by the Thai massage ladies we had a bit of down time. We had been waiting all week for the Sunday Night Walking Market which is huge and only a block from our guesthouse. So off we went once it got going. Holy smoke. So much stuff. I started shopping right away, Val is still being sensible. She claims she is holding out for Bangkok.



Apparently, I didn't take any gift market photos so here is another random food market picture

Anyway, I got some gifts for others but mostly I shopped for myself (I know, you are shocked). I got an amazing silver necklace with hand carved silver beads and a flower pendant. I found a fish mug, a requisite local painting etc. Val got a bit of jewellery (and now that we are packed to head back to Bangkok, she seems very wise). It was packed with people. The locals keep telling us tourist season is basically over and there aren't many people here but after the market, I have to disagree. We met up with three of the people from our cooking school by chance, Sophie and Fred - the French couple and Alyne - the Victorian girl. They have been hanging around ever since our day together. We wandered around with them for a bit but eventually we had to give in. It was too big and my feet are still a total liability. Plus, if we kept going, I would have just spent more money. How many gifts can I bring home, really?

The next morning we had a 6 am pick up for the 'Flight of the Gibbon'. This is a 2km zipline through the jungle. We arrived in the mountains around 8am and were given our little safety lecture. You gotta love these in foreign countries. 'Don't fall off", 'Don't jump off', 'Don't be an idiot'. Once we had a cup of coffee (very good mountain stuff - yes, I got you some, Nikki) we were ready to be hooked up. The putting on of the harness was only slightly less invasive as the Thai massage but our guide was considerably better looking (and male for that matter) so I can live with it.



Our guides, North and Mr. Bee



Val getting strapped in.

Then a quick ride to the start point. We were lucky, we were the first group of the day. Plus, we booked for an early spot because it was cheaper and we wanted to avoid the mid day heat. But being first meant that each platform we zipped to was empty and the jungle seemed pristine. Anyway, I was the first to be chucked off and sent flying to the first platform.



Val on the zipline, zipping through the jungle

Basically, each platforms is a tiny balcony around a huge tree that we all huddle around so as not to plummet to our deaths. It isn't as bad as I make it out of course. The platforms are barely big enough to fit all of us but we were always hooked onto something, either the line or the tree. I can't say it would be comfortable to fall off but at least we would be unlikely to die. The batteries to my camera died almost immediately but as chance would have it, our group was accompanied by a professional photographer who is doing a new broucher and an article for Thai Airline magazine. He said he would send us a link to see the pictures. If they ever actually arrive, they should be hilarious. Lots of bad angles, I'm sure. It is pretty much impossible to be graceful when you are hanging 120 feet above the ground held only by a single string.



A high above the ground walkway

At one point we heard gibbons but couldn't see them. Val thinks she may have had a glimpse but it is unconfirmed. Zip, Zip, occasional dead man drop to below and then two hours later it was over.



Our group before we left the jungle.

Perfect timing, it was just starting to get hot and very jungle humid. Then a quick buffet lunch and a drive to a waterfall, reminiscent of Africa - climb a million high stairs to get to the top of a waterfall.



Stairs and stairs and stairs



One of several waterfalls

Fortunately, there was an interesting bird half way up and I chose to ID that instead of continuing. Have I mentioned that the birding here sucks lemons. Considering that Thailand is home to a large portion of the world's bird species, I have seen few. Occasionally I see one I can ID to the family, eg, 'look a bee eater' or 'hey, that was an owl' but always from a car or train, so no time to speciate. Anyway. Back to the guesthouse where we spent the afternoon napping.

We have been getting up early but not 5 am early and we were pretty tired. Plus, we had big plans for the evening - Thai Boxing! Our tickets were for 9pm (very late for us old timers) but Lyn told us we could eat there so we headed over early, 8ish. The stadium is close to the guesthouse so we just walked. On our way, Val saw our three cooking school friends again, sitting in a restaurant having dinner. They had mentioned the last time we ran into them, that they were planning to go to the Boxing match too. We stopped to say hi and see if they were, in fact, coming. They were so we said we would see them there and we would save seats if possible. Well, when we arrived at 8:15 or so, the place was empty and we were told we would have to eat outside but we could save a table if we wanted. When we mentioned that there were 5 of us, we were allowed to save a table right at ringside, sweat spatter distance (I know this is an acurate measure because I was, in fact, splattered with sweat). So we put our names on the table and went back to eat with the group. When we arrived back at the stadium just before 9 it was still pretty empty but the fights started soon after. The first two fights were just little boys (100 lbs class) and it was pretty tame.



The boys class



Val, Aylin and Sophie (I don't think I have a single picture of Sophie where she doesn't look horrified)



The real spectators (not the gawky tourists)

The third fight was awesome. Hard to describe but lots of kicking, but it still didn't seem nearly as brutal as a North American boxing match.


Well, maybe this guy thought it was a bit brutal (knockout!)

After that, it was two matches with lady boxers, again not very violent. (despite the how the photo looks)



Lady Boxers

The night was to finish with two matches, one 'major fight' and one 'international fight' between Thailand and New Zealand. Well, the 'major fight' was over in less than two minutes with a knock out.



It was over fast, but I still managed to get shot of his cool tatooes.

Then they announced that the international fight was actually between Canada and Thailand. WooHoo. Unfortunately, Mr Canada was a bit too much for Mr Thailand and the ref ended the fight almost immediately. Canada rules! (but too quickly). Then we were all ushered out and Bob's your uncle. Home by midnight.




Mr Canada pummelling Mr Thailand.

Just as well as the next morning was another early pick up. We decided to spend our last full day in Chang Mai doing one of the day tours. Val wanted to see the long neck tribal village and I wanted to see the Golden Triangle, which is where Myanmar, Laos and Thailand meet. So we found a tour that didn't involve elephant riding (not easy to do) and booked it. Now so far, we have had great trips - elephants/awesome, zipline/great fun, boxing/very exciting etc etc, but I can say that this trip was the dud of the bunch. We were crammed 13 in van with questionable air conditioning. Once we had everyone we were advised it was an hour and a half to the hot spring. The hot spring consisted of a pipe in the middle of a parking lot spraying egg smelly hot water into the air. I didn't even take a picture. But don't worry, it was surrounded by shopping opportunities, stalls and stalls of the same same (a common term here for, well it is pretty self explanatory actually). We bought coffee and sesame snaps - yummy homemade ones.

Then back in the van for another 1 1/2 hours to the White Temple. I have to say, this was impressive. Again, pretty self explanatory name but like all things Thai - way over the top. I have to mention here, I may have already said this with the Grand Temple, that photography in this country is impossible. Everything is too much! It is so over the top with curly cues and decoration that there is no way on earth it will show up in a mere photo. Others mentioned this to us when they showed us their pictures but you have to see to believe. Anyway, I have inadequate pictures again.



The White Palace

Some things of note about the White Temple, well obviously it is pure white on the outside. There is a moat around it with silver koi that are so cool to watch as they school and dart - again, bad photos to follow.



White Koi



A bit of detail

There is also some waterless ponds filled with hands, reaching up to you like dead souls from below. Creepy. I am pretty sure the architect was insane.



Creepy

Once you pass all of that, you go inside where there are Buddhas in descending sizes ending with a real monk at the front. He didn't move so I had to ask Val if he was real. NO photos allowed inside so you will have to trust me that it was a cool visual. Then we turned around to leave and there is a huge wall size mural on the exit wall. It is covered in Thai and Buddha imagery with random Pop culture references hidden within, such as a high top shoe and some space ships. Disconcertingly, there was a GI Joe (70s version, not the little wimpy 90s one) sized picture of Keanu Reeves at eye level. Why? I just don't know. But I think he was watching us... (I took the blue pill). Then out we went for more shopping time - Val got an iced coffee, I got pineapple to ward off the Pad Thai induced scurvy that is soon to kill me. Back in the van for ANOTHER hour and a half. Then we arrived at the Golden Triangle. We learned that most of the rest of the group had already purchased tickets to take a boat over to the Laos side so we bought tickets too.



Our questionable boats tied to the questionable dock.




The not very exciting view of Thailand, Myanmar and Laos.



Cool view of a giant Buddha that watched over the Golden Triangle. It is so hazy because it was rice feild burning season. The whole countryside was like this.

Into the boat, quick tour around. Myanmar, strangely enough, has a huge casino in the area that we could look at but not dock at. Then over to Laos where we had 1/2 hour to - you guessed it - shop.



Me and Val on the boat



Our visit at Laos.

I bought a postcard and sent it to work (see, I am thinking of you guys in Financial Aid) and had my passport stamped with a very suspicious looking Laos stamp. Do cartoon elephants sound official to anyone? I then bought a gift or two, Val bought herself a stone box.



The market in Laos

Neither of us bought the booze that came in a bottle with a snake and a huge bug of some sort. Again, how can a picture do that justice?


One of the guys on our boat tasted this and said it just tasted like vodka, not like dead snake and bug. I declined.



Some girls asking for some money.



Chinese boats

Back on the boat, back to Thailand, a quick trip to the grossest by far bathroom we have seen here and then back in the van to go to our buffet lunch. Lunch was good, they had chicken fingers. They had a dessert that consisted of sweetened coconut milk with tapioca balls, already good, but for some reason they added gelatin worms in red and green. Some of the worms were very realistic versions of these maggots we saw for sale in the market. Well, of course, I had to have some. The coconut tapioca in honour of the Curry Family and the worms just so that it is that much grosser when I tell Melissa about it. Photo - not up to snuff.



You can't really see the gelatin-grubs but here is the picture

WE stopped to look at the Myanmar border but we weren't allowed to cross. I personally would have paid the 500 baht ($20) for the stamp but it didn't seem to be an option.



Myanmar border crossing.

Things in the van were getting a bit tense. The four in the back had their knees up their chins and they wanted to switch up with the bunch in the front but the front bunch were having none of it. Val and I were off to the side so no one seemed to care what we wanted. Plus there were four (middle section) very loud Spanish girls who just wouldn't stop talking. My favourite part was when they asked for the radio to be turned off and then had a loud discussion about how silence is golden (I can guarantee that the irony was lost on them). Finally the guide asked them to be quiet so the driver could concentrate after which they had the gall to shush anyone else who talked. Anyway, last stop. We had been led to believe that we would stop at three villages to 'meet' three different groups of hill peoples. What actually happened was that we were driven (1 1/2 hours) to a row of shacks that had all of the hill people crammed together offering another shopping opportunity.



Row of 'Hill Tribe' shacks - a primitive strip mall.

I was not too excited about the original version by Val was keen. But the actual version was just icky. A human zoo.



A cute hill tribe baby



A nice lady (chewing beetlenut) who sold me some scarves



A Karen (long neck) woman.



Little Karen girls

I bought quite a bit out of white, North American middle class guilt for being there. The ladies, in all of their tribal garb, were very lovely and friendly but, well I will spare you the anthropological rant on 'the other' etc etc.



Scarves - I bought a lot of scarves.

Then, believe it or not, a THREE + hour ride back to Chang Mai to arrive after 9pm. By the last trip in the van, I was pretty much ready to fling myself in front of oncoming traffic. We were going so fast though, that it would have been hard to open the door with all of the centrifugal force on the curves, which were many. Now we are killing a few hours before the train leaves at 4:30. I want to buy some sinus medication for the flight and Val needs some painkillers for her shoulder (actually from hanging on in the van so she wouldn't fall out of her seat, it was that bad). Off to Boots pharmacy, the pharmacist arrives at 1 so it is time to go now (it is 12:53) then we want to buy Lyn some chocolate for a thank-you and then we are out of here. See you in Bangkok.

Val and Joanne go to Thai Prison and get beaten (and it was nothing like Bridget Jones II)

I couldn't come to Thailand and not get a massage. There are massage places every ten feet (not exaggerating) so it seemed a trip requirement. Val found a note in the Lonely Planet that the Women's Prison has a massage parlour where all of the proceeds go directly to the prisoner upon her release to help her get a new start. That seemed a worthy cause. So off we went to check it out. Our first visit, we showed up too late so today we went earlier. We had a good sleep in (9am) since we were so exhausted after our elephant excursion, ate breakfast at the guesthouse (Val had a smoothies and toast, I had french toast and fruit - good but too expensive, it was at least 5 dollars each). Then we sauntered back to the prison. We didn't get any photos of the inside so these will have to do.



This is the outside gate



Homey touches like flowers still don't make me want to go here for longer than an hour

We were led in to the massage area and had our feet washed. They gave us some clothes to change into in a side room. Things were already off to a bad start since neither of us could figure out how to put on the pants or the top. Eventually, one of the women came in and sorted us out. Val said she only wanted the back and neck done but I was in for the full meal deal - the one hour Thai massage. Oh My God, there is absolutely no way I will be able to convey in words the pain that tiny woman caused. She started on my leg and used thumbs made of steel to basically rupture my muscles and snap my bones. It hurt - a lot. She didn't speak much English but occasionally when I would cry out, she would ask "hurt?" to which I would answer 'YES!!" and she would reduce the pressure by an infinitesimal amount barely perceptible by my broken self. Oh, did I mention that we were on mats on the floor in a communal room. No privacy here. By now, three British women had arrived and were watching their future. I can't believe they didn't run screaming. That little masseuse could kill a man with what she could do with her thumbs, elbow, knees and feet.

As much pain as it was, it was also the funniest thing ever. I was laughing so hard I couldn't talk. I would look over at Val, who was only supposed to be having her neck done and I would see her contorted into some impossible position with her own tiny masseuse sitting on her. How could I not laugh. My lady kept asking if I was ticklish, I would just say yes since it was easier than to say the entire situation was too funny not to be hysterical. After my legs it was time to flip over for my back. She showed me a little pot and asked if I wanted on my back. I said yes. Only then does Val mention that the contents of the little pot are hot, chemical burn hot. I was happy for the distraction. Imagine me, with a person standing on my back, pulling  my legs up the wrong direction until I was a U shape. My back cracked like an egg. There was twisting and throwing, cracking and kneading. I couldn't look at Val or I was laugh even harder. Finally, she shredded my arms and it was over. I don't think I have ever done anything so painful voluntarily in my life before this. But I have to say, when we left, it was the first time my calves were pain free.

Now I am sitting in the Internet place while val has a banana milkshake. There is so much I'm not mentioning about Thailand because I can't keep ahead of our wacky activities. Some notes about Thailand
1. Sidewalks - not for walking. I think that they are primarily for motorcycle parking, then for store displays, sleeping, dogs, and trees and planter pots, then for walking.



A particulary cute example of a sidewalk blockage

2. tourists - they are everywhere. We don't like the British ones especially. There are very few Americans and a zillion Canadians. They seem jaded.
3. Food - I know I keep mentioning food but I have discovered that there are very few dishes on offer. Val has made it her mission to find the best Pad Thai. Strangely, so far the best had been in a French restaurant. We only went in there because they had padded booths. But there was a Thai chef who made me a wicked Ginger pork on rice and Val, the yummiest Pad Thai.



another lunch

4. Cats - everywhere. we have an old tom who sleeps outside of our room but he isn't interested in making friends.



5. Buddha - everywhere in every form. We can't figure out if it an Young Elvis/Old Elvis thing or an artistic difference for the different versions. We are avoiding Wats so I suppose we will never know.

6. Flowers - they grow all over the place, orchids are wild here.



They even grow in shells.

I'm sure there is more so I will add in future posts if I have time. Joanne